Big changes, they are a-comin'

For the last year and a half my two little ones have been in daycare and I've been working on my business full-time, sort of. I say sort of because my daughter has been having ongoing health issues, and with each flare-up of her condition, many things, including my business, went on hold. This year has been particularly hard. Milla, who is 3, had surgery in December and then another one in January. She had a bad reaction after surgery and ended up spending 3 weeks at home before going back to daycare. I felt very lucky that I didn't have a boss and could make my own hours, but during those times the hours for my business were few and I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Things have been getting back to normal, our normal that is. We recently found out that doctors can't figure out Milla's condition and there are no more tests to be done. On the outside she seems like a perfectly healthy and very happy little girl, but on the inside her body isn't working properly. She isn't able to fight infections at all, so every small bump, cut or scratch can turn into an internal infection and lead to surgery. That's just part of the puzzle, but I am not a doctor and won't overwhelm you with all the other details. Just believe me it is not good.

I know this: I am a mom and I am doing my best. I want to keep my daughter healthy and I think being with her will give her the best chance of that happening. So, after a lot of thinking and a ton of considerations, my husband and I decided to take both of our children out of daycare. We are starting a new journey together. I will be with the kids during the day, so my husband can work at his day job and my husband will be with them in the evenings and on weekends, so I can work on my business. It may not sound ideal to everyone, but that is what we came up with. It's time to take care of our daughter, but I don't want to give up the business and my husband doesn't want to give up his job. We are very lucky that we are both happy in our chosen careers. My daughter is sick and that makes me sad. My business makes me come alive and that makes me happy. I'm sure it will take some time to find our balance in this new world, but we will get there. After everything we have gone through, we are one tough family unit, not to be messed with :) And you will be seeing more of us, too, since we will be out and about enjoying our new world. I will admit that I am terrified and excited at the same time.

Bring it on, life.

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